Downhill Love

Confusion had taken over her so strongly that she did not know what to say. She stood there, looking beyond, looking everywhere, but him. Trying to register what just happened, she fidgeted with her hair, still dumb founded.

 

He looked at his childhood friend. They were meeting after almost 6 months. She looked beautiful even with the questioned look on her face. He had waited for 3 years, 5 months and 7 days for this day. Yes, it took him that long to figure out his feelings for her.

 

Under the Banyan tree, her favorite spot in the park, he told her; "I love you. I always have and I think you are the most beautiful woman ever. I was just too blind to see it myself. I kept running after other women when the only person I want in my life is you. I am sorry for not knowing it earlier."

 

She stared at her feet, gathering herself. She had wanted to hear this for the longest time in her life. She had loved him ever since she danced with him at a common friends party when she was 16. She would do anything for him. However, he had failed to see the love in her eyes.

 

Finally she looked up at him. Their eyes met. He tried looking for an answer in her eyes, but her face was masked. She did a good job of not revealing what she felt. After two minutes of eye locking, she finally said, "I am getting married in two months from tomorrow." She turned and left.

Mumbai, just another city?

Even though I am born in Pune, brought up in Mumbai, there is no doubt that there is a part in me that believes that Mumbai is undoubtedly the best city to live in. The road side food, the crowded beaches, Marine Drive, Worli seaface and the homely feel, are the things that make me love the city. But the real question is, is Mumbai really the best city to live in?

There is more to this financial capital of India to which we live blind folded and  are ignorant to.

Running a marathon year to year does not show the integrity of the city, we have to prove it daily.
Hundreds of women being eve teased daily, and people just stand and watch as if it is an entertainment show.
And if some one tries to help, they land up dying because the rest are coward enough to help. Where is the spirit then? There is no point having candle light marches and mourning over the dead when we can not stand up and fight for the right, fight for humanity.

Political gimmicks are just a part of daily routine. Something happens in Assam, let's have a protest in Mumbai. Burning up buses, tearing down houses and throwing stones at each other has become like a common thing. Moreover, festivals like Janamashti and Ganesh Chathurthi have been politicized in such a way that it is a game of who can entertain the public more. When will people start standing up for the city rather than being puppets for the political parties?

The crumbling infrastructure, cemented bodies hovering in every corner, leaving us no space to breathe. Breaking rules, proudly bribing the cops in return, the uncontrollable population and the unnerving traffic are nothing but the tip of an ice berg.

"Mi Marathi nahi", that does not mean I am not a part of this city or I love it any less. I love this city equally. This city is one which has nurtured me and made me who I am. I started traveling alone by local buses when I was merely 8 years old. This city has made me an independent and fearless woman, who can travel alone at 3 am safely.

But then there are days where I am forced to sit at home, from the fear that some goons are vandalising the city because they are grieving. Days like this makes me sad, not only seeing them vandalise, but the fact that we give in. We stay home.

A revolution is needed. A change. One that doesn't bind a single citizen from his right to speak, right to move about freely without fear and the right to enjoy life the way he wants to.

Cultural gaps may be there, but let's not make them an issue. India is known for it's culture and different religions, and Mumbai is a city where we see them all. Let that not be a cause for disintegrity, rather make it our strength.

Saying this, I feel Mumbai is still in its growing stage and if we really want to call it a good city to live in, we have a long way to go. It may be a good city to live in India, but in the world where do we stand?

Fly High

Flying high, up above, from down beneath I see them soar,

A pinch of pain, a broken heart,

My wings are clipped, I want to fly.

It is not anger, it is the pain,

Not of others, but the wings in vain,

Tears  have stopped, but my heart it aches,

A wishful thought is all it takes.

The pain is such, it makes you strive,

It makes you dream and want to fly,

Hopes you build, hard and strong,
Keep that smile, its where it belongs.

The watery eyes blurs the sight,
Look beyond, you need to fight,
Loosen up, don't be so uptight.

Eyes desire, wings of fire,

Achieve heights, never retire,

To fly the best, I aspire,
The birds above, they make me inspire.

EMPTINESS

Life is a mystery of paradoxes, some good, some bad.

Needs change, wants become stronger, but priorities stay the same. Or so i hope so.

There are days when you feel that life could not have been better, but then there are some where you want more.

I do not call it being greedy, but confused.

It is not about wanting more, it is about not knowing what you really want.

Stop chasing things because people do, or for that matter because it may give you momentary happiness.

Run, because the adrenaline that pumps is felt only by you.

You may have everything possible, but if you do not know what you really want, you are Empty.

The clock may tick, people may run,

Take a breath, lie around.

If you feel empty, do not cry.

You may not know what you want,

But at least you are not a robot working by the clock.

You may not know what you want,

But at least you know that there is something that you want.

FEAR ME NOT

FEAR ME NOT

Fear me not... 

Fear the demon inside of you,

For he is the one to be blamed for you,

The crazy wrong things that you always do,

Is something that I fear too.

Fear me not...

Fear the timber that rests in your house,

The air that you breathe, you are its louse,

The more you destroy it, the more you die,

So fear the demon, inside you which lie.

Fear me not...

Fear the gadget, now you use,

Water is its source, electricity from the fuse,

The more you use it, earlier it dries,

The rivers are pleading, hear its' cries.

Fear me not...

Fear the wheels that take you around,

As pretty as it looks, it makes a sound,

The oil that burns, your pockets are sore,

The land beneath, soon shall have no more.

Fear me not...

Fear the man, that lives above,

For he is crying, showering his love,

The busy lives that make you run,

It shall be followed by a scorching sun.

Fear me not...

Fear the man besides you,

His colors vary from bright to blue,

The eyes say it all, your wings they flew,

For looks are deceptive, they kill you too.

To Dream or Not...

Dreams are nothing but an illusion our peers taught us to see. Dream big, is what people say. But in the real world, it takes more than just a dream to be big. Being big. What is it? Is it called being successful, being rich, being happy or all of it. Apparently, if you are rich, means you are successful and thus are happy. But are you really happy. I believe a majority of the people are. I mean, in this clock functioning world where nothing works without money, where happiness is based on monetary goods, why would one not be happy if he has it. For all I know, I too would be a part of this blinded world had it not been for the profession I am in. 

I may not have achieved what i dreamed of, and yes, as natural human behavior I do feel saddened by the thought that what if I do not land up being what I want to...I too feel the constant pressure of thriving to do better and competing with a bunch of other junk heads and proving myself to be a good doctor. But its only when you actually take a step ahead, forgetting about your wants and opening your eyes to the millions of hearts which believe in you blindly, you realize that there is more to life than monetary happiness. 

The smile on a four year old when you play with him, the tears of a ninety year old female when you just hold her hand and say "it will be fine", the "thank you" of a worried mother whose child was sick, these are the moments when I am confused, whether to be happy that I am doing my duty as a doctor, or be worried that I am wanting to be a part of a rat race which at the end of it is going to turn me into a heartless, money minded, just another doctor.